I have always believed that sex is a most wonderful gift
that expresses love and closeness like few other acts do. Your sexuality is wonderful and needs to be celebrated in every period of your life. To accomplish this requires healthy development right from childhood on.
I have never forgotten the words of a mentor of mine. He said “We are all sexual and our sexuality is at the core of who we are. If we are undeveloped or wounded in this area, it affects our core.”
This makes sense when we consider that while we were still in our mother’s womb - before we had a name, before we knew what a mom was - we were male or female. Whether we remain single, or marry and have children, whether we ever have sex or not, we are sexual people from birth to death. How you express yourself sexually affects and defines you as a sexual being. Our sexuality encompasses:
Our sexuality has primarily been influenced by:
- Our physical body
- Our biological sex: male or female
- Our gender identity: I am a man- woman, boy - girl
- Our gender roles: mom, dad, other traditional ‘blue –pink’ roles
- Our sexual orientation: to whom we are sexually and emotionally attracted
- Our sexual identity: how we interpret and feel about our sexual gender and orientation
We experience and express our sexuality
- Our family of origin
- Our religious and spiritual upbringing and experiences
- Our emotional health and experiences
- Our culture and our standings in that culture
- How we respect and protect partners and ourselves from physical and emotional harm
through our values, attitudes, beliefs, preferences, judgments, sexual behaviours, sexual feelings, love and intimacy. Although we will live our entire lives as sexual beings, we are always learning, changing and evolving; therefore, it is always appropriate to have questions about many aspects of our sexuality. And this is good because the more we know about sex and sexuality, the better we are able to take charge of our sex lives and our sexual health. As we grow and mature our needs change, our capabilities change, and our desire for intimacy and closeness changes. Our experiences and the experiences of people close to us shape our expectations and our values about sexuality.
Are my sexual activities healthy and normal?
A Healthy Sexual Life Allows
- Me to never compromise my values and belief
- Me to never be pressured into uncomfortable activities
- Me to experience pleasure while being protected
- Me to respect myself and others in adult ways
- Me to be honest and authentic with others about my activities
- Me to respect and feel good about myself
- Me to have sex when my partner agrees to share it
Our Sexual health begins with sound and reliable sources of education. No matter what your body type, age, sexual orientation, physical impairments or insecurities, you are entitled to ask questions and care for your sexual and reproductive health.
It is normal
to have periods in our childhood, adolescence and adult years when we struggle with our sexual life. Sometimes it might be due to emotional and relational stressors but other times it might be due to physical dysfunction. What is most important is that you do not neglect these issues.
Often times the reactive behavioural patterns are much harder to change than the original issues. Often pride and shame inhibit people from getting the help they need. This is quite understandable but unfortunate. It is critical that you understand that confidentiality and privacy is a cornerstone of the therapy that is offered at Bayridge. This is a safe place
. Our team is made up of good people who are well trained.
I cannot emphasis enough how a healthy sexual life is an essential ingredient for a happy and successful life.
The good news is that sexual therapy has a very high success rate in the world of therapy. You are not alone. We will sensitively help you increase your sexual health.